My Nate

I stood staring at the countless book bindings when suddenly; abruptly I was pulled back to reality by the fierce vibrating buzz of my cell phone.  I answered and listened while a clam voice spoke to me, “Sarah and John were in an accident”… “WHAT!” I responded.  My face flashed with heat.  I was quickly reassured that Sarah and John were fine.  Then the bomb was dropped.  Sarah was, at that very minute, in the OR undergoing an emergency C-Section.  I stood amidst my disbelief, sinking, as the reception on my cell phone decayed.  Crackling and torn, the voice offered its low goodbye.  
            Slowly I walked through the aisles until I reached two great wooden doors.  Like mountains, they seemed anchored to the earth as I coaxed them to open.  Cool spring air rushed at me, washing away the rose that had just covered my cheeks.  This chilling burst thrust me into thought.  Thoughts about this season, this great change.  One thought repeatedly flashed in my mind.  
Spring: A time for birth and new life.
It seemed so real to me now, so profound.  I knew, however, that along with this new life would come a plethora of responsibilities.
            
            Later that evening, I walked with my family into the hospital.  I eagerly asked a man at the front desk for Sarah’s room number.  I received the information on a small, jagged scrap of paper.
            Navigating through the hospital proved to be quite a challenge.  Finally after frantic minutes I found an elevator.  I was breathing heavily with anticipation as the pullies slowly inched their way to the desired destination and to the one person who would change my life forever.
            I peered through the opening doors and saw the nursery window.  I ran up and immediately recognized the infant who had been long expected.  He was the biggest; eight pounds and miles long.  What a journey into this, my world.  

Further down the hall was Sarah’s room.  She was still groggy from the anesthesia.  They hadn’t brought her baby, Nate, into see her yet.  Not long after reaching the room they brought Nate to be changed and fed.  I watched him as he instinctively sucked on the bottle and gripped Sarah’s finger.  They seemed to be connected.  Then the baby was placed in my arms.  I looked down at him not knowing what to do or if I was holding him correctly.  He was perfect.  He was beautiful.  I lightly touched the palm of his hand with my finger.  His reflexes kicked in and he grabbed it like he had just done with Sarah.
A few months earlier, Sarah and John had asked me to be the Godmother.  I had accepted with much enthusiasm.  I looked down at Nate and saw him clutching my finger.  It was then that I realized what I was in for.  It was then that I decided that no matter where he was, I would always be there for him.  I would never let him down.  If he ever needed me for anything, I would be there waiting to help.  I also new that whenever John or Sarah needed any help it was my duty to be there for them as a friend.  That day I learned how to change a diaper and hold a baby, but I also learned what it means to have major responsibilities and most of all what it means to be needed.  This single child, this infant, in his short life has taught me more about myself and my life than I ever dreamed possible.  He is the most significant change I have ever faced and I am thankful for every minute that I get to spend with this amazing boy, my Nate.